Parents…

Parents (and divorced parents) talk to your children, find out what makes them tick, what the like, dislike, and how they feel about things.

When I say talk to your children, I mean talk to them, don’t talk at them, as if you’re telling them how to be extension of you. When you talk to your children, believe me, you both learn.

Children learn how to listen and how to speak to others. Parents learn about their children, how much they are learning in school, if words are important to them. Because, if words aren’t important to your children, it possibly means that they are having trouble in school.

When I was young, the only time my father and stepmother spoke to me (actually at me), was when they wanted to badmouth my mother. They didn’t do that to my sister for two reasons, first they didn’t have to, she joined in the mom bashing even though she didn’t know the first thing about her, and second, she was their favorite child. Even after my half-sister was born, my sister was still the favorite.

Because of the fact that my sister hated our mother, my father and stepmother used to pit us against each other. It was almost like a game to them, and the result, my sister and I don’t to this day speak to each other, though I have tried.

The only other time they spoke to me, they were hurting and humiliating me.

Parents, if you hurt and humiliate your children, the only lesson they will learn is to hurt and humiliate, that’s why there is a cycle of violence in the country, because some parents either shouldn’t be parents in the first place or once they are they should take parenting classes to end the cycle of violence.

Between my mother giving up custody of myself and my sister, and the fact that my father was always threatening to throw me out of the house, I didn’t fight hard enough when my father and ex-husband had my children taken from me and given to them.

I pray that if you’re in that boat that you fight to the death, the way I was too afraid to do.

In conclusion, get to know your children, you may find that you like as well as love them.